11th Hour Laborer


Burden Bearer: Part 2


Like a Cookbook

I have started to add audio to my new web-site. “Like a Cookbook” is now available.

Please join me there!



The Crushing of the Rose: Part 4

“Sister, I believe I have a Word from the Lord for you.”  My dear friend and her husband stood at the front door of my house. They had their coats on and had been preparing to leave after a lovely visit. She turned to her husband after her surprising announcement, seeking his approval. He gestured for her to continue. I stepped forward to receive what she was about to say.

The Crushing of the Rose: Part 4 is now available at my new web-site:


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Who’s the Boss?

“Who is this and what have you done with my sister?” This was the response I got from my sister when I texted her recently, telling her I had cut way back on my coffee consumption. Well, I had to laugh because her response of disbelief was with good reason. It doesn’t matter if you know me well or only as a Facebook contact, you have probably figured out I love my coffee…even my timeline pic on Facebook features a cup of coffee. I’m known for my love of sitting on my couch at the front window with a good cup of coffee so I can pray and watch my birds, so when I told my sister I was cutting way back on my coffee consumption, she viewed it as a drastic step out of character.

 There were a couple of reasons I decided to cut back on my coffee consumption, one reason being an occasional breathless feeling and also the creeping certainty that as the economy tanks, coffee will become an unaffordable luxury. I did not want to have a two pot a day habit when that time came. I quit making coffee a pot at a time and went to making one cup at a time. This may not save a whole lot of coffee yet since it takes a minimum amount of grounds to make a cup, but it is forcing me to be mindful about drinking it. I have to WANT a cup of coffee and no longer do I dump a cold cup down the sink to pour a fresh, hot cup, (ooh…even writing that makes me want a fresh, hot cup) but I either drink it cold or nuke it…something serious coffee drinkers would never even consider doing.

 What got me thinking about this today was a post from End Time Headlines. It was a picture that said: “Dear God, I don’t want anything to have an ‘I-have-to-have-this-claim on my life. May I die to my cravings that I may live focused on you.” This brought to my mind my recent determination to undo the damage done to my proactive, healthy-living style, by my relapse to the anything-goes-along-with-the-flow-style of living. My relapse has cost me a many pound weight gain and a great deal of loss of muscle mass. As I was contemplating the statement on the picture and trying to remember what I did to live a healthy lifestyle for three full years, I remembered something God had spoken to me a few months back, just before I left for a three-week visit to my daughter. I couldn’t quite remember it exactly but had a good hunch as to where I wrote it down. I am so glad I wrote it down. Here it is…….

Who’s the Boss is now available at my new web-site:


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The Crushing of the Rose: Part 3

The Crushing of the Rose: Part 3

The Crushing of the Rose: Part 3

“It is dangerous to have a prophet in your life, Sister.” My pastor’s Bolivian accent made the words he spoke take on a portentous undertone. Though he was telling me of times he had delivered prophetic messages that had not been heeded, it felt suddenly as though his words were meant for me.

Crushing of the Rose: Part 3 is now available on my new web-site:


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On The Right Track

On The Right Track

On The Right Track

It was dark and snowy. I was at a deserted train station. My arms were loaded with my laptop, purse and various other bulky items and I knew I couldn’t walk to my destination. I stepped down onto a set of train tracks and walked to a tiny, child size locomotive, a little larger than a go-cart because of its length. The tracks were covered with snow, lonely and lit only by the moon. I stepped to the head of the tiny locomotive and flipped a toggle switch on the top. It moved forward on the tracks, but I was concerned that it wouldn’t make it through the snow so I toggled the switch forward and backward, walking next to the engine. The train circled around back to the station and it occurred to me I had better make sure I wasn’t going to get run over by a train coming up behind me, so I carefully looked around the corner of the station building. On an adjacent track, I saw the bright beam of the headlight of a very large locomotive pulling passenger cars, approaching. As I watched, I noticed a different piece of equipment clearing heavy snow from the track ahead of the locomotive. The snow was very deep, and even the massive snow removal engine was having to go slowly ahead of the train. The locomotive slowed down and stopped at the station. I could see  inside the well-lit coach cars and the passengers appeared to be comfortable and enjoying themselves.  An uniformed man was in his place at the door of the train and the conductor could be seen in the engine area.  Suddenly, (as happens in dreams) I was standing on the station loading area,  looking at the train as it stopped. Then I woke up.

I thought of this dream a great deal over the days following, trying to understand it. One conclusion I made was that both trains were going the same direction, but were on different tracks. The thing that spoke to me was the fact that the large locomotive had a conductor (my term) and I did not. Whereas I was struggling to get to the destination on my own, the other train had all sorts of help, including a massive piece of equipment going ahead, clearing the track of obstacles, making the way safe. My tracks were snow-covered and I had to walk next to my little locomotive to move forward. The large train was well-lit and I could see the passengers moving around. The large locomotive’s tracks were lit by the strong beam of its headlight and mine were lit only by the moonlight.  As I prayed about the dream, I became more and more convinced  that God didn’t intend for me to go forward on my own. As I prayed, I felt deeply the need of a conductor and the company of like-minded saints. One Sunday morning, long after having this dream, my pastor approached me just before service and said to me that he would like to speak to me, that he had a (prophetic) Word for me. You see, I had felt I should retire and get my house on the market quickly. After a great deal of prayer and a chance circumstance, I put in my 30 day notice. I panicked for 1/2 day, wondering what in the world I had done, then it was confirmed to me over and over that it was time and it was God. I did a major push to put my house on the market at the same time as I was putting things in order at work to retire. I started working with a Realtor, did a great deal of work on my home, got rid of even more items from my home, had inspections ect. I did everything but sign the final dated paper to put it on the market, but because of a few snags, I wasn’t able to sign before time to leave to drive with my daughter to New Hampshire for an extended visit. My Pastor came to me with this Word from God just a week or so before my retirement date. What he said to me, in his Bolivian accent was, “What you are doing, Sister Watrud is uprooting yourself.” I nodded my head in agreement. “But that is not what God wants you to do.” My heart sank as he continued. “You can do that if you want to, but it will take a long time for you to re-establish yourself as it does when a plant is uprooted. What God showed me was that if you will work where you are planted, at some point He will gently pick you up tenderly in His arms, roots and all, and transplant you to where He wants you and you will flourish there.” My heart soared with this direction. I was no longer afraid to bury my roots deep, as my God would transplant me, roots and all in His own time. What a freedom I felt! I can continue to prepare my house for the market, but also use it upon occasion as an Elisha Chamber until I decide to do so. Until then, I will study, I will teach, I will serve and even visit family I haven’t gotten to spend more than a short while with. I will minister as God leads. God had spoken to me through a Brother back during Christmas of 2012. He said that I was walking through the Valley of the Shadow of Death and by that He meant that I was walking in the dark. He said that His promises are Yeah and Amen but that certain things had to come to pass first. I may still be walking in the dark, but I’m serving in the light.


2Kings 4:9-11 “She said to her husband, ‘Behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God passing by us continually. 10 Please, let us make a little walled upper chamber and let us set a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; and it shall be, when he comes to us, that he can turn in there.’ 11 One day he came there and turned in to the upper chamber and rested.…”

Funny Money

“So,” I asked the gentleman, “are you familiar with the mark of the beast and the one world money system?” “Yes.” he answered me, “And I’m making buckets of money off of it.” I had gotten to work early that morning and before I could even get my coat off, one of the employees came up to me saying that someone had a technical question for me. I quickly put my coat away, grabbed my notebook and headed back to where the man was working on a computer. What he wanted to know, in a nutshell, was whether our primary equipment communicated with all of the programs that we use in conjunction with it. My answer, in a nutshell, was….no. He went on to explain to me that the reason he asked was because he was on a work-group that was looking at ways of integrating every program we use so that all of the processes communicated without manual input of data. This would make our work flow much more efficient, streamlined and automatic. I knew all about workflow as I had been assigned to a project that was probably on the periphery of his project somewhere along the line. I had been working with a small group creating value stream maps for our department and obtaining timings of every single step of every single process of every single program for every piece of equipment for every single thing we did…yes…you heard me sigh. Since I had been working on that mind numbing  project for a while, I readily agreed with him that it would be much more efficient and there would be less waste of manpower time and effort and a great deal less rework if all of the programs communicated and automatically updated. It was what he said next that made me immediately take note. He asked me, “Are you familiar with RFID chips?” I answered that I was familiar with them. He said that what his group was looking at for a future project, was “peppering” these chips strategically in the department. This way when a client entered with their own RFID chip, all of the previous manual processes would happen automatically. I knew immediately the implications of what he was saying. Up to this point, it had been a rather  interesting, early morning conversation. I was still smiling and nodding, but suddenly I knew I was in a God Moment. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt God was revealing something momentous to me. I said lightly, “So the client would come to us with a badge of sorts with the RFID in it?” The gentleman looked away from me to his computer and answered me back with the same light tone. “Oh, I’ll probably be long gone by the time they get this figured out and implemented.” He didn’t answer my question, so I asked it a different way. I said something to the effect of, well as long as it’s not on our right hand or forehead like the mark of the beast. He seemed to know what I was referring to, so that was when I asked him, “Are you familiar with the mark of the beast and the one world money system?” and he answered matter-of-factly, “Yes, and I’m making a bucket of money off of it.” I was startled to say the least. He went on to ask me if I had heard of bit-coins.  I was somewhat familiar with the digital currency. He went on to tell me that he had gotten involved with this virtual currency early in its inception and it has seen phenomenal growth. I said, I hoped he had invested in it and he said again matter-of-factly, “Oh yes. I’ve made loads off of it.”  As he was describing the bit-coin revolution, I said to him that it sounded like it could become a world currency the way it was going. He said definitively, “Oh, it’s already global.”  I said, “I guess the one world system is already here and in place then.”  He smiled slightly and then returned his attention to his computer screen. We had both given all of the time we could to the conversation so I walked from the office knowing in my heart that I had just experienced a “God-thing”. God had revealed to me, something so big, I did not even know what to do with it.  As I walked down the hall, piece after piece of the pattern came to me. Now, I want to say right here, that this man is a super nice guy and my employer is a wonderful institution. We are not talking about an evil man or company. The trouble is, we’ve been so busy looking for the person that is “The Beast”, that the system that is “The Beast” managed to sneak up on us unawares. We have become so digitized, things that used to be a fairly simple process have become impossible to accomplish manually anymore.  Case in point: If I want to get a plastic spoon out of our stocking closet at work, I must first scan my department button, then I have to scan the product button, then I scan the correct quantity of the product, then I replace the wand and it records the total. If I just take the spoon without going through this process, eventually there will be no spoons because the trigger to restock won’t happen. Another case in point: If I want to run the equipment I run and registration has not happened first, it is next to impossible to acquire the order and if I somehow manage to bypass registration and acquire the order, it  is next to impossible to use the results of the order. Even now, many of the processes I use all day long just simply cannot happen without an electronic action taking place first and that’s in today’s world without RFID use. Do you see why it will be impossible to buy or sell or bank or get social security or medicare or unemployment or health care without an RFID chip when it rolls out and becomes the norm? We have become so automated, it will simply be impossible to go to a bank without your chip. They wouldn’t know what to do with you. They would not be able to access your account, much less let you withdraw from it, and when all currency is nothing more than electronic bit-coins how would you spend it even if they wanted to give it to you? If you can’t see this thing happening, tell me when is the last time you bought gas without swiping your card at the pump or in at the register? And truly, how often do you pay for your cart of groceries with cash? When you go to the dentist, do you hand them $1000 after they fix your crown or do you hand them your cards, whether it is for insurance or for payment? When you go to your doctor, do they pull out a clipboard and read a piece of paper or do they access your electronic medical record? Do they hang an X-Ray on a view-box or do they pull it up on the computer?

I can also see how the days of being able to walk away from debt or financial responsibility is done. We are entering a merciless era. It’s already illegal to be homeless in some cities, so if you were not able to pay your debt and lost your home, you would be RFID chipped and sent to a FEMA camp. For those that have claimed disability and have a government disability income, you would be chipped and to a FEMA  camp. You don’t want a chip you say? If you have claimed a mental disability as many, many have, you will have no choice; you will be declared incompetent to make a decision, be chipped and to a FEMA camp with you. What about that nice little nest egg you have worked so hard to save? No chip, no access, no nest egg. What about your land and your home and your car that you have faithfully paid on and are so close to paying off? No chip, no taxes paid, no record of payments made, gone is the house, the land, the vehicle. What about your church and it’s property and your building fund? No chip, no ownership recorded…gone, gone, gone.

You know what I think? I think we had better scrap our building programs and our nest eggs and our pensions and throw the money at soul winning. That money’s not going to be yours much longer anyway. At least use it for God’s kingdom while you can still call it your own. Take that money and send workers into the field. Don’t make them leave their field of labor to make the rounds of churches to drum up support. Send them money while it can still be sent. Forget the midweek Bible study except to teach new converts; do outreach instead. Start preaching points everywhere you can put together a handful of saints. Forget your comforts and entertainments and vacations! Do something for God while you can. You think you can run from this? I don’t, not from what I’ve been reading. Get your loved ones in the Ark! God is fixing to close the door. This thing is busting loose soon and I intend to be rapture ready. Are you?


The Mark of the Beast

And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

 Revelation 13:16-18  

Burden Bearer

“Be a Burden Bearer”, the silent whisper of the Lord spoke to me.

I had sat down in my big chair to finish a wonderful book by Robert E Henson, called “Breath of Life- The Gift and Blessing of Prayer” when I felt the unmistakable wooing of God to pause and love on Him for a while. I loved on Him for a period of time, then felt I should stand. I was listening closely for His Voice when He said, simply, “Be a Burden Bearer”.

I should explain first of all that I have been practicing listening for the Voice of God. Everything I have learned lately says we need to come to a point in prayer where we “still” ourselves…wait…and listen carefully for His Voice. I had just asked Jesus earlier in the day during prayer to give me “ears to hear” His Voice. He said to me that He longed to speak to me but my ears were, “dull of hearing”. I wanted so badly to hear His Voice, but I asked Him to please speak to me clearly so that I would have no doubt that it was His Voice I was hearing and not just my inner thoughts. He said to me, something to the effect, “I speak to some in a whisper, to some in a feeling or impression, to some in that ‘still, small voice’, to some in pictures, to some through other people, and to some through dreams.” He told me to Rest in Him and commit my way to Him and He would speak to me.

After the Lord spoke to me, saying, “Be a Burden Bearer”, I asked the Lord, “What is a Burden Bearer?”  He said to me, “Ask my servant.” I tried to figure out what servant He meant, and finally landed on one I would ask after I prayed awhile. I was trying to figure out what a burden bearer was, when suddenly, I remembered the burden I had offered to help carry many months ago.  I had been praying for a certain servant of God and realized that the burden this servant was carrying was becoming too much to carry alone. I had prayed, “Lord, I’ll help carry {the} burden!” I felt a heaviness rest down on me and I prayed for the burden, but really didn’t know how or what to pray. I felt that my prayer was pretty ineffective because I just didn’t know what the burden was or how to pray for it. After a few days of trying to pray for this burden without knowing what to do with it, I prayed again. I said to God, “Lord, please give me just a tiny portion of {your servant’s} mantle so that I know what to do with this burden.” I felt like I was told to stand and once again I actually felt something come down and rest onto my shoulders. I was surprised because I had asked for just a “tiny” portion of the servant’s mantle and this felt like my entire shoulders had something come resting down on them. I felt a heavy responsibility.

I started praying for the burden, calling it “Precious Burden”. I prayed for the burden for some time, but still didn’t know what to do with it. Finally one day, I spoke to the burden. I said, “Oh, Precious Burden of {God’s servant}, what are you?” I prayed that over and over, speaking in tongues and praying. Then suddenly, it seemed I knew what it was, so I then prayed, “Oh, Precious Burden! What is the Key to reaching you?” and I seemed to get an answer.

Like I said, that was many months ago and much has transpired in my personal walk with God in the interim, so I am ashamed to say, I hadn’t thought much about this burden for some time. I stood in my living room, determined that not another day would go by neglecting this burden. I began to pray immediately. As I prayed, I realized part of what a burden bearer’s responsibility is. I knew being a burden bearer would require much prayer and fasting. I also knew it would require me to go as a warrior before the servant of God. I would be required to pray a vanguard of angels around God’s servant for protection. I would be required to warfare pray into the enemy’s territory to take authority in Jesus Name and by the Blood of Jesus over those spirits of the enemy that were resisting the servant of God. I would need to dispatch angels to fight those spirits that were coming against God’s servant and I would need to plead the Blood of Jesus over God’s servant and over myself and over all that pertains to the servant and to myself.

I have much to learn.

Rise up Oh Army of God! Many burden bearers are needed!


Nehemiah 4:6-23

“But we built the wall; and all the wall was joined together to the half thereof; for the people had a mind to work.

7And it came to pass, when Sanballat, and Tobijah, and the Arabians, and the Ammonites, and the Ashdodites heard that the walls of Jerusalem were being repaired, that the breaches began to be stopped, then they were very wroth, 8and conspired all of them together to come to fight against Jerusalem, and to hinder it.

Discouragement Overcome

9Then we prayed to our God, and set a watch against them day and night, because of them.

10And Judah said, The strength of the bearers of burdens faileth, and there is much rubbish; so that we are not able to build at the wall.

11And our adversaries said, They shall not know, neither see, till we come into the midst of them and kill them, and put an end to the work. 12And it came to pass that when the Jews that dwelt by them came and told us so ten times, from all the places whence they returned to us, 13I set in the lower places behind the wall in exposed places, I even set the people, according to their families, with their swords, their spears and their bows. 14And I looked, and rose up, and said to the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, Be not afraid of them: remember the Lord who is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your houses.

15And it came to pass that when our enemies heard that it was known to us, and that God had defeated their counsel, we returned all of us to the wall, every one to his work. 16And from that time forth the half of my servants wrought in the work, and the other half of them held the spears, and the shields, and the bows, and the corslets; and the captains were behind all the house of Judah. 17They that built on the wall, and they that bore burdens, with those that loaded, wrought in the work with one hand, and with the other they held a weapon. 18And the builders had every one his sword girded by his side, and built. And he that sounded the trumpet was by me. 19And I said to the nobles, and to the rulers, and to the rest of the people, The work is great and extended, and we are scattered upon the wall, one far from another: 20in what place ye hear the sound of the trumpet, thither shall ye assemble to us; our God will fight for us.

21And we laboured in the work; and half of them held the spears from the rising of the dawn till the stars appeared.22Likewise at the same time I said to the people, Let every one with his servant lodge within Jerusalem, that in the night they may be a guard to us, and [be for] labour in the day. 23And neither I, nor my brethren, nor my servants, nor the men of the guard that followed me, none of us put off our garments: every one had his weapon on his right side.”



A Glimpse

“It’s so good to be home…It’s so good to be home…”, my husband spoke softly as he rocked in his old green rocking chair. It’s been almost 15 years since he uttered those words.

I had just started my evening prayer through the tabernacle and was meditating on being thankful for the “gates of the tabernacle” when that scene from so long ago came to mind. I had been thinking of how those Jews that could only make it to the temple once a year must have felt as they approached it, how they must have wanted to drink in the sight of it. I could imagine how they laughed and shouted as it came into sight. Fathers lifted children onto their shoulders and excitedly pointed out the temple in the distance. Then I thought of those Jews that had spent years in captivity and how only the fortunate few made it back. I thought of how they must have wept at the sight of even the remnant of the temple. It was as I was thinking of those captives, that I thought of my husband sitting in his old rocking chair, so very glad to be home. In my mind’s eye, I saw our children sitting a little away from him, hopeful but wary; and myself on the couch, wanting to be happy, yet serious and cautious.

This is a very long and difficult story that I am only going to tell you a little of. I will allow you a glimpse, but no more into those dark days. It’s not something I willingly talk about, but God has made it very clear to me I am to write a little bit of it.

I had just brought my husband, (I will not give his name) home from the hospital where he had been very close to death. You would think that was why it felt so good to him to be home, but it was much more than that. He had been gone from our home for many months; but, gone from our family for many years. It was his first time “home” since he had left us. The divorce was finishing up and the children and I had finally started to find a new normal. Some weeks prior to this, I had been to a ladies retreat. It was during the last altar call of the last session of the retreat that God spoke to me. He said, “If {he named my husband} asks if he can come home, will you let him?” I said, “No Lord. There’s been too much water under the bridge. It’s been too hard.” A little later God spoke to me again, “If {your husband} asks you if he can come home, will you let him?” I said, “No Lord. I don’t want to.” Then one last time, God asked me, “If {your husband} asks you if he can come home, will you let him?” This time I answered, “I tell you what Lord, how about if we just do this your way. You’ve never left me hanging and I don’t suppose you’ll start now.” The retreat finished, I went home and didn’t think another thing of God’s words. That was Saturday. Monday afternoon, my husband stopped by the house. He said he had something to talk to me about. I reluctantly let him in. He said he had made a mistake and wanted to come home. Long story short, I forgot completely about my conversation with God and said no. He spent some time trying to convince me but I had no intention of going down that road again. He finally asked if he could take the kids and myself out for pizza. The kids had come home from school by then and were all in favor of us all going for pizza. I did not want to go with but he and the kids put a great deal of pressure on me until I agreed. We got back a little later that evening and my husband asked if he could catch a nap on the couch in the lower level before he went to work that night. I was very unhappy about it. I absolutely did not want him in the house any longer, but where he was living was an hour away, so I reluctantly agreed. I went to bed and hadn’t been asleep long when I heard him on the phone in the dining room, calling in sick to work. I was very angry. I was even more angry when I got up the next morning to find him on the couch in the living room, claiming to be sick. I didn’t care if he was sick. I wanted him out of my house and let him know in no uncertain terms that he had better be gone when I got home from work. The kids called me later at work and told me their dad was very sick. I came home after work to find him still on the couch and truly sick. He was burning up with a fever which I could not ignore. I spent a long night trying to get his fever down, so come morning, I insisted he be seen. When the attending physician diagnosed his illness as sinus infection, I knew in my gut they were wrong but there was nothing to do but get the antibiotics and hope they worked. I have to say I was very anxious to get him off of my hands.  I had company coming for Easter, I had a great deal to do and I knew his presence would be unwelcome to say the least. That was Wednesday, but when Thursday came and went with  no improvement, I insisted on taking him to the emergency room across town. It wasn’t long before the nightmare began. They roomed him immediately which should have been my first clue he was seriously sick. At some point I was taken back to a private area and questioned by the infection control group. Could he have contacted this, that or the other, they asked me? I finally had to own up to the fact that I really didn’t know much about him anymore and hadn’t had contact with him for a very long time. They said he had said as much but they were grasping straws. He was admitted and the battery of tests began. The next afternoon, I brought the children in to see him and was disturbed to notice his breathing had become labored. They took him for a late afternoon CT Scan which showed multiple pulmonary embolism. My Easter company came, took the kids home with them and my vigil began. He rapidly went into a decline and was emergently moved to intensive care. The physicians broke it to me that he was going into total organ shutdown and they still didn’t know what was wrong with him. Very quickly he turned yellow-orange and became very swollen. He was delirious and kept asking me to take his boots off, though he had nothing on his feet. He said they were, “so heavy”. Soon after, he became totally unable to speak but was easily startled and very frightened. I prayed almost every minute I was with him. At some point I knew I was to pray over his entire body. I knew I needed to pray and sing to him, touching him as I did. I didn’t care who came and went, I continued. I remember a young doctor walking in and observing me. He said to “keep it up”, that it had been proven to help. I only left when I knew someone else would be with him. He reached crisis mode and they still didn’t know what was wrong. They finally told me that it might be a good idea to let the children come and tell him goodbye, so I called the school and the principle brought them to the hospital. I don’t remember much of that time except for the exhaustion. Then, the main physician came to me with a smile. They finally had a diagnosis and could aggressively treat him. He had been visiting family in Tennessee two weeks prior to the start of his illness and had been bitten by a tick carrying a disease called Ehrlichiosis, called by locals, “the bone breaker” because of the pain associated with it. The average yearly incidence of it is 0.7 cases per MILLION population and none of that happens in MN. Once the physicians knew what they were dealing with, they were able to successfully treat him. They were finally able to move him out of critical care to a step down unit though he still couldn’t talk and was confused. They had a serious talk with me about taking him home. They said I would have to make sure not to allow him to use the stove or let him wander. They could not guarantee he ever would improve enough to be left alone. I vividly remember saying to God, “Well, this ought to be interesting.” They were finally going to release him, but since he was very immunosuppressed, I went home and cleaned and washed walls. When I came back to his hospital room and walked up to his bed, he reached up to me and put his arm around my shoulders, kissed me and said the first words I had heard from him since he became so ill. He said, “What are you doing here babe? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?” It was the first time he had kissed me since his heart had turned from me so very, very long ago…the first time he had spoken an endearment to me since his heart was stolen from me.

I took him home from the hospital and the first thing he did was to go to his favorite old chair, the green rocking chair. He rocked silently for a while with his eyes closed, than said with a catch in his voice, “It’s so good to be home… It’s so good to be home”.

I fell in love with him all over again…head over heals in love with him… passionately in love with him… and we almost made it. We almost beat that spirit that had gotten a hold of him, but he wouldn’t let the pastor or the men of the church get close enough to him to be accountable… to be safe.  He was finally able to go back to work, but it wasn’t long before he was dabbling once again with that sin that had taken him from me in the first place. Soon he was back where he had been before he had gotten sick…only more so. I fought that spirit that had a grip on him! I fasted and prayed and wept until I tore the cartilage in my ribs. The rest of the story reads like a textbook. That spirit isn’t very imaginative. It pulls the same stuff wherever it strikes. There was the usual ugliness of divorce, then the car broke down, the well had to be re-dug, my furnace burned up, my fridge went out, my stove quit working, the roof started leaking, the pressure pump went out and had to be dug up and replaced. The divorce had been discontinued when he got sick, so it had to be completely restarted…with a new retainer fee… in other words, I made a lot of money, but I had none.You say, where was God in all of this? Oh, where do I begin to tell you of His faithfulness. One day as I wept, God said to me, “But, didn’t I give you peace in your home?” Yes, God gave me and my children peace in our home.  He also gave me closure, since I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had done everything I could possibly do to win my husband back to me and to God.

You wonder if God left me “hanging”? No, no He didn’t. He has given me a new, peaceful life. I’m working on being a soul winner and the best is yet to come. I’m not sure why God has laid it so heavy on my heart to write this or why He has placed such an urgency on me to write it. I guess, if there is one take-away I can give you, it is this: Remember, Satan doesn’t come to inconvenience you or to mess up your day…

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy:” John 10:10


“It will no longer be said to you, “Forsaken,” Nor to your land will it any longer be said, “Desolate”; But you will be called, “My delight is in her,” And your land, “Married”; For the LORD delights in you, And to Him your land will be married. For as a young man marries a virgin, So your sons will marry you; And as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, So your God will rejoice over you.…” Isaiah 62:4,5

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